Season’s Greetings 

Dearest Friends of the Upper Crust— 
We may now confirm what many of you have no doubt suspected for some time: that the Upper Crust, absent from the stage for over a year now, are on indefinite hiatus.  
Count Bassie, Jackie Kickassis, the Duc d’Istortion, and the Lord Bendover are all actively and energetically engaged on their own creative projects, having assumed, for purposes of art, the personae of ordinary rockers—complete with contemporary costumes accurate to the smallest, shabby detail; vulgar vernacular speech, and plausible-sounding, ethnically-derived names.  
It goes without saying that this kind of character performance is exceptionally demanding, and requires the highest level of skill and focus to carry it off; we beg you, if you should see them immersed in these roles, do not break their concentration by invoking their true titles and identities. 
As for ourselves, now that our duties to their Lordships are no longer an impediment, we most earnestly hope that you and I may at long last consummate our incandescent mutual attraction—for we know that you are, if anything, more lovely than ever, for the full-bodied grace that maturity bestows. 
With abiding love and deepest gratitude for your faithful friendship, we bid you a fondue, season’s greetings, etc., 
Secretary and Manservant to Their Lordships the Upper Crust

Update from Bumbles 

Dearest Friends of the Upper Crust, 
It has been some months since last we spoke, and as the band’s last public appearance was a year ago in Cleveland (with the superlative Supersuckers), we do not doubt but that you may be asking yourselves: Whatever has befallen the Upper Crust? 
The truth is, the Lord Bendover has been afflicted with a palsy of the hand, and is in the process of reacquainting himself with the guitar; the Duc has been preoccupied with pressing familial concerns; and silver-tongued Count Bassie has found himself otherwise engaged in profitable musical adventures, as has the fabulous and irrepressible Jackie Kickassis, who is in great demand as the finest drummer in all of Rocque and Roll. 
These are the reasons for the band’s long suspension of activity, and no one knows at present when Their Lordships will bestir themselves, blow the dust off their wigs and platform shoes, and reenter the fray to save the world from inferior Rocque and Roll. 
We pray that you will forgive the noble gentlemen of the Upper Crust their current indisposition, and we remain, until such time as we have more congenial news, 
Your Faithful Friend in Rocque, 
Secretary and Manservant to Their Lordships the Upper Crust


Dearest, Most Patient & Forbearing Friends of the Upper Crust, 

For some time now the Lord Bendover has been afflicted with a palsy of the hand, such that he cannot play the guitar, which distress has engendered the cancellation of several performances of the Upper Crust. Thankfully, he is now attended by skilled physicians who shall bring to bear all the scientific inexactitude of their arcane trade upon him, employing the most up-to-date techniques and remedies: bleeding, the mercury cure (always assuming that tertiary syphilis plays no small part), trepanning of the skull, freezing cold baths, and more. We anticipate that they will be successful, and in short order His Lordship shall be restored to us in all the pomp and majesty of his former musical skill, such as it ever was. 

We shall keep you abreast of these developments, which may be considered hopeful if one is inclined to optimism, though a pessimist would straightaway assume the worst and nine times out of ten find that he had underestimated by an order of magnitude the scope of the catastrophe. 

But what of you? Are you still, as we fondly persuade ourselves, kindly disposed towards us? Does your eye still sparkle with that soft, affectionate gaze, punctuated now and then by a broad wink and a come-hither wave, which we flatter ourselves were reserved for us alone? We await your answer with an impatience wholly inconsistent with the fact that it was we that were remiss these past weeks, and remain in the meanwhile your belated yet devoted correspondent, 

Secretary and Manservant to Their Lordships the Upper Crust

Regrettable show cancellations 

It is with regret bordering on revulsion that Their Lordships of the Upper Crust bring themselves to attempt a task more difficult than any performance, that is, they must announce a cancellation, and of not just one show—which itself would be regrettable enough to require smelling salts and physicians in attendance—but two shows: Saturday, October 14th at Diviera Drive in Brooklyn, NY, and the following day, Sunday, October 15th, at the Hyland Pavilion in Fiskdale, Massachusetts. 
Their Lordships are quite overcome at this unseemly necessity, occasioned by a minor inconvenience, that being the return of the Lord Bendover’s Hereditary Insanity (an ode to which was penned for the album Revenge for Imagined Slights); and they hasten to assure their faithful friends that they will return to the stage as soon as His Lordship has been restored to his faculties. As of this writing, his cranium is a nest of whirring, tweeting canaries—a distraction which, while invisible to everyone else, is more than sufficient to prevent him from playing his guitar and singing in the same key. 
Nevertheless, this is a familiar ordeal that comes and goes, and represents no cause for undue concern. We can expect His Lordship to return none the worse for wear after an unspecified interval, all the more ready to rocque for his current indisposition. 
We shall make you aware of further developments as they develop, and in the meanwhile, we remain your most earnest and heartfelt friend,  
Secretary and Manservant to Their Lordships the Upper Crust

Summer Tour 

Kind Friends of the Upper Crust, 

After the Upper Crust’s recent whirlwind tour of the Northwest, we confess we have been remiss in our correspondence, and we would wish to convey our deepest regret for so long a silence, being preoccupied, as we were, by our various duties. 

Nevertheless, there is much good news afoot, for the Upper Crust shall be performing at the Spotlight Tavern in Beverly, Massachusetts, on Saturday, July 8th. This show, whilst an event of sufficient magnitude and of the greatest import in itself, is also prelude to a short tour with Seattle’sjustly famed Supersuckers, from July 20th through the 30th: 

7/20 Richmond VA Broadberry 

7/21 DC Hill Country Live 

7/22 Philadelphia PA Kung Fu Necktie  

7/23 NYC Gramercy Theatre 

7/25 Asbury Park NJ Wonder Bar 

7/26 Newport RI Parlor  

7/27 Somerville ma Once Ballroom  

7/28 Syracuse NY Venue TBA 

7/29 Pittsburgh PA Funhouse at Mr Smalls 

7/30 Cleveland OH Beachland Ballroom  


The Supersuckers are near and dear to the hearts of the Upper Crust, and these shows promise a spectacle of Rocque unequaled in both moral turpitude and exquisite good taste. 

We dearly hope that we shall see you soon at one or the other, if not all, of the above venues, and that our great mutual affection is to be consummated at last. 

Until then, we remain, 


Secretary and Manservant to Their Lordships the Upper Crust

The West 

Dearest Friends of the Upper Crust, 

It has often been observed by those of philosophical bent that the West is the best, and the noble gentlemen of the Upper Crust concur with the sentiment wholeheartedly, putting the hypothesis to a brief but rigorous examination in San Francisco (Bottom of the Hill, Thursday, 5/25/17), Medford, Oregon (Johnny B’s, Friday, 5/26/17), Seattle, Washington (Funhouse, Saturday, 5/27/17) and Portland, Oregon (Dante’s, Sunday, 5/28/17). These are dates that, if you happen to find yourself within any reasonable proximity to one or another venue, are absolutely de rigueur; all the more so since San Francisco’s Grannies share the bill. 

Their Lordships would be greatly pleased to see you in attendance. 

In the meantime we remain, as ever, your most faithful and affectionate correspondent, though none must ever know the true depths of our affection, 


Secretary and Manservant to Their Lordships the Upper Crust

Record Release Performances 

Dearest and Best Companions of the Upper Crust, 

We write today to inform, alert and possibly alarm you regarding the Upper Crust’s rapidly approaching record release parties: 



We strongly advise that you proceed with all due circumspection to the nearest and most convenient record release party, leaving behind all non-essentials, and bringing with you only what is strictly necessary to your unfettered enjoyment of the new Upper Crust opus “Delusions of Grandeur.” 

The new record will be available in every conceivable format at the shows, including vinyl, CD and wax cylinder. 

Also, we advise that you look upon the web for the new video, “Little Castrato,” featuring the lovely Hayley Thompson King as the castrato in question. Great care was taken to make this video look just like a real taped performance, with the actual castration scene rendered in glowing, lifelike black and white. 

That is really all we wish to say… except perhaps to add that we look forward with the warmest sentiments bordering on giddy hysteria to our long-awaited reunion at one or the other of these performances, remaining in the meanwhile your most humble and obedient servant, 


Secretary and Manservant to Their Lordships the Upper Crust


Dear Companions of the Upper Crust, 

What news we have to impart you, we can hardly articulate, being nearly overwhelmed by the almost frenetic activity of Their Lordships the Upper Crust in these heady days of early Spring. 

Firstly, Their Lordships have completed a video for the song “Little Castrato,” featuring the lovely Hayley Thompson King as the eponymous figure, shot by the master Alex Loer. The video will be released April 7th along with the new 13-song album “Delusions of Grandeur.” Madame Thompson King performs double duties, singing on the studio recording as well, and so the video is perfectly representative of the creative processes at work, with the exception of the actual castration scene, which was largely simulated. 

There will be a record release show in New York, at the Bowery Electric, April 8th, and one in Somerville, MA, April 28th. 

There are also shows at Emerson’s Black Box Theater April 1st, and a northern West Coast sojourn that will encompass (so far) San Francisco, Portland and Seattle toward the end of May, details to come. Their Lordships will not, sadly, be playing Los Angeles on this occasion. 

We regret as well that we have not been able, given this feverish schedule of activity, to find time to correspond with you in a more personal fashion, our greatest concern being to retain your goodwill, dare we say affection, and so we remind you of our immeasurable and undying devotion, which though consequent and subordinate to the strictest rules of etiquette, fails only in its inability to secure from you a response, for you have been somewhat reticent with us, leaving us to wonder, if we are loved in great measure, somewhat, or not at all. We dearly hope it is the former circumstance that, occasioning a kind of paralysis, robs you of the ability to put pen to paper to proclaim our lasting and most intimate companionship; and we remain, until such time as we may obtain evidence thereof, your most dedicated, expectant, well-intended and enthusiastic correspondent, 


Secretary and Manservant to Their Lordships the Upper Crust

Heads Will Roll! 

Good, Kind Friends of the Upper Crust- 

Their Lordships, this day, Friday, February 24th, 2017, hereby release and relinquish to the general public, to do with as they see fit, a new single—a savage burst of Rocque energy penned by the Duc d’Istortion and delivered in his singular, gruff baritone, entitled “Heads Will Roll.”  
The single is available on all the usual outlets accessible to the computational machine: iTunes, Spotify, etc. 

In the opinion of those who have conspired to create the forthcoming 13-song album Delusions of Grandeur, this song merits the status of first single, being as it is exemplary of the tradition of Rocque excellence that defines the band’s oeuvre, and indicating the increased creative contribution of the Duc, who lends no less than three compositions to the new album. 
We hope you enjoy the new song and that it whets your appetite for more, as the album will be officially released April 7th, and 2017 bids fair to be a busy year for the Crust.  

Until we meet again, we remain your most dedicated and affectionate correspondent, 

Secretary and Manservant to Their Lordships the Upper Crust

Current Affairs  

Dearest Friends of the Upper Crust, 

In order to honor the inauguration of the new political administration, Their Lordships of the Upper Crust have cast around their catalogue in search of a song that would be appropriate; finding nothing that dovetails exactly with the new President’s unique enthusiasms, they are offering the next best thing, a song recorded some time ago but never released and now perhaps more pertinent, or less impertinent, than ever, called “I, Diarrhea Fiend.” 

“I, Diarrhea Fiend” will not appear on the new album, Delusions of Grandeur, slated for release in the first week of April, so enjoy it here. Their Lordships trust that you have some kind of technological expertise that will allow you to pirate the track and listen to it at your convenience whilst at tea, in your carriage, abed, or even at the formal ball, your earbuds being concealed by your periwig, and only the herky-jerky movements of your limbs betraying the fact that you are not listening to chamber music with everybody else. 

We trust you will enjoy “I, Diarrhea Fiend,” and hope to see you at Great Scott in Allston, Massachusetts on February 10th, where the Upper Crust will perform along with friends Petty Morals and Watts. 

We remain in the meanwhile your most enthusiastic and affectionate companion, 

Secretary and Manservant to Their Lordships the Upper Crust